Month / August 2019

by mybetterlifeca

Are You True Crime Obssessed?

I have a ton of obsessions — an obsession with lip chap, an obsession with recycling, an obsession with traveling, with being right (kidding) and an obsession with true crime. What is it about serial killers that fascinates huge swaths of the population? What really happened to JonBenét Ramsay? Where is Madeleine McCann?  Did Michael Peterson really push his wife down the stairs?

Are you as obsessed with true crime as I am? I’m the girl who actually had the paper work filled out to submit to the police for a copy of a cold case because I was committed to solving it …. it’s still on my list, I’ve just got some other mountains to conquer at the moment.
 

Turn on Investigation Discovery (ID) channel and you’ll find any number of TV series about true crime.  A&E, Discovery Channel, TLC and O are all in competition to rule over the true crime audience.  It’s pretty safe to say if I’m not watching something to do with traveling all over South East Asia I’m watching or listening to true crime.

I listen influential podcasts such as True Crime Garage, True Crime All the Time, True Crime All The Time Unsolved, Dark Poutine, Someone Knows Something, The Vanished and Dr. Death.  If I’m cleaning the house I listen to podcasts or I have old episodes of Criminal Minds or Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda.  The books I read are mainly true crime related and I’m also addicted to the Alex Cross series by James Patterson.  No kidding, I fall asleep listening to true crime podcasts or YouTube videos, I’m honestly surprised that my dreams are not more bizarre, I mean I fall asleep to podcasts dedicated to hashing out the gruesome details of various crime scenes – wth?

I’ve been obsessed with true crime for as long as I can remember.  Long before the huge influx of arm chair detectives, podcasts and Netflix originals.  Way back in the day when A&E was just a budding channel and I’d watch Unsolved Mysteries or Bill Curtis on Investigative Reports and  Cold Case Files. In my teens I’d watch Dateline NBC, 48 Hours and 20/20 over most other shows and if I wasn’t home on Friday or Saturday night to watch it live, I’d set the VCR (yes, I’m that old).

Come to think of it, I have an episode of True Crime Garage on as I write this (ep 246 Delphi Murders – Off The Record – see link below).

So what’s the draw to true crime shows?  Are people just are fascinated with death, and that’s why true-crime shows are so popular with the public?

An article I read in Psychology Today states that “The public is drawn to serial killers because they trigger the most basic and powerful emotion in all of us”.  I’d agree with that. Scott A. Bonn Ph.D. goes on to state that “as a source of popular-culture entertainment, serial killers allow us to experience fear and horror in a controlled environment, where the threat is exciting, but not real”.  Still why are we are a society obsessed with murder and true crime documents/dramas?  Are we obsessed with the gory details of these slayings?  What  compels us to want to dwell inside the mind of a killer?

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Image of me watching true crime created by Vicky Hung

I don’t think I’m so much “obsessed” with murder as much as I’m interested what goes on during the police investigation, in the courtroom and whether or not there is justice or injustice there.

In A Psychiatrist Explains What Your True Crime Obsession REALLY Says About You By Lea Palmieri (Dr. Packer says, “People get relief from knowing that they are not the ones that lost control of their impulses. And I think that’s a tremendous appeal.” Lea suggests that the “next time you sit down to watch Making a Murderer, know that the show is not actually making you a murderer, it’s simply making you feel quite relieved that you’re NOT one”.  Excellent point Lea!  Excellent point, indeed!

Where are you on a scale of 0-10 when it comes to being true crime obsessed?
 
 
 

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by mybetterlifeca

What Does it mean to be Powerfully Single?

Hey everyone, how are you all doing today?  Thanks for reading, I really hope you’ve all been awesome and living your best lives!

I just got in not too long ago from dinner with one of my good friend’s who is home for a visit from Japan – she and her family moved there 2 years ago on a work assignment and I haven’t been able to see her since she was home last year (if you’ve been following my blog for a while,  I blogged about my visit to Japan in 2017 – to read that post, click HERE).  We had a great dinner and visit, and it was so amazing hearing everything that she and the family are up to, time really does fly and I really am learning not to take it for granted.

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Linda and I at Milestones for dinner 

No, I didn’t hop on here to talk about my catch up sesh with Linda (although it was great and def not long enough), I’m here to chat with you a bit about choosing to powerfully be single AND sometimes being lonely.  Why? Why now?  Cause I got home to my empty condo, poured myself a nice glass of pino grigio and sat down solo on the terrace and thought “hmmmm, it would have been nice if I had someone who was here when I got home to ask how seeing Linda was.  Someone to have that glass of wine on the terrace with, someone to proof read my blogs”.  

Although I know I have chosen to be unattached, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel the sting sometimes,  the sting of loneliness, of wanting someone to have dinner with, to have a glass of wine on the terrace or to just hug me hard and kiss my forehead, to say goodnight or good morning to.  I realized that I can make that powerful choice and still have it sting sometimes and that’s ok.

Why Am I choosing to be Powerfully Single and What Does That Mean?

I get that question more often then I’d like sometimes.  Choosing to be “powerfully” single means that I have made the choice/decision to elect with full power the need to not be attached to anyone.  It means that I’m being fully present to what’s important to me and being fully self expressed and that makes me feel powerful.  And by choosing to be single “powerfully” I’m not just choosing to be single, I do it on my terms and in full control of my choice.  I make the choice with integrity and in authenticity to myself, that’s the distinction in choosing powerfully.

Being aware of your current thoughts, emotions and actions helps you distinguish where you are operating from.  Once you’re aware of how you are operating you can easily choose the way you want to be.  It’s my responsibility to myself to distinguish which parts of me are working and which parts are not working.  Once I’ve done that, I can powerfully choose who/what I want to be, simple.  And, that distinction is easily applicable to all areas of my life btw, each decision I make I make sure that I choose powerfully.

Why Do I Choose To Be Single?

Simple answer:  I’m a lobster, every get that? If I’m too old, it refers to the person of whom another is meant to be with forever.  It originated due to the fact that lobsters mate for life (at least, according to Phoebe Buffet)

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Honest answer: I won’t settle, I know what I have on offer, what I feel is important in a relationship.  I don’t have fairy tale dreams of some knight in shining armour like we were taught as young girls.  I don’t need rescuing or a sugar daddy.  I’m not even looking for someone who checks off fictitious check boxes in my mind.  I’m looking for someone with whom we have chemistry, respects me, has a great sense of adventure and is faithful.  And, I know he’s out there, and I know I’ll meet him, when the time is right and the Universe has conspired to create such awesomeness.

I go out and I have fun, and, I’ve chosen intentionally not just to be with someone for the sake of being with someone … that’s easy and it’s not who I am, never has been and never will be.  I’ve had 2 serious relationships in my life – one I married and the other I was engaged to.  Some women look at me with a sense of pity, and I clap back (nicely) “hunney, I’m all good,  I don’t feel sorry for me, nor should you.  Now get on out there and worry about stuff like climate change, animal abuse or human trafficking”  

I’m not here to preach that it’s so awesome that you should all ditch the BFs or GFs or both, and join me.   I’m just suggesting that when you choose to be or not to be in any relationship, choose POWERFULLY.  

Did this resonate with you? Are you choosing powerfully?  Could you be? What would that look like for you living in that possibility?  What could you create?  

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