Hey everyone, how are you all doing today? Thanks for reading, I really hope you’ve all been awesome and living your best lives!
I just got in not too long ago from dinner with one of my good friend’s who is home for a visit from Japan – she and her family moved there 2 years ago on a work assignment and I haven’t been able to see her since she was home last year (if you’ve been following my blog for a while, I blogged about my visit to Japan in 2017 – to read that post, click HERE). We had a great dinner and visit, and it was so amazing hearing everything that she and the fam are up to – time really does fly and I really am learning not to take it for granted.
No, I didn’t hop on here to talk about my catch up sesh with Linda (although it was great and def not long enough), I’m here to chat with you a bit about choosing to powerfully be single AND sometimes being lonely. Why? Why now? Cause I got home to my empty condo, poured myself a nice glass of pino grigio and sat down solo on the terrace to catch up on some ECOtionally event stuff and thought “hmmmm, it would have been nice if I had someone who was here when I got home to ask how seeing Linda was. Someone to have that glass of wine on the terrace with, someone to proof read my blogs”.
Although I know I have chosen to be unattached, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel the sting sometimes, the sting of loneliness – of wanting someone to have dinner with – to have a glass of wine on the terrace or to just hug me hard and kiss my forehead, to say goodnight or good morning to. I realized that I can make that powerful choice and still have it sting sometimes and that’s ok.
Why Am I choosing to be Powerfully Single and What Does That Mean?
I get that question more often then I’d like sometimes. Choosing to be “powerfully” single means that I have made the choice/decision to elect with full power the need to not be attached to anyone. It means that I’m being fully present to what’s important to me and being fully self expressed and that makes me feel powerful. And by choosing to be single “powerfully” I’m not just choosing to be single – I do it on my terms and in full control of my choice. I make the choice with integrity and in authenticity to myself – that’s the distinction in choosing powerfully.
By being aware of your current thoughts, emotions and actions helps you distinguish where you are operating from. Once you’re aware of how you’re operating you can easily choose the way you want to be. It’s my responsibility to myself to distinguish which parts of me are working and which parts are not working. Once I’ve done that, I can powerfully choose who/what I want to be, simple. And, that distinction is easily applicable to all areas of my life btw, each decision I make I make sure that I choose powerfully.
Why Do I Choose To Be Single?
Simple answer: I’m a lobster – anyone get that? If I’m too old, it refers to the person of whom another is meant to be with forever. It originated due to the fact that lobsters mate for life (at least, according to Phoebe Buffet)
Honest answer: I won’t settle, I know what I have on offer, what I feel is important in a relationship. I don’t have fairy tale dreams of some knight in shining armour like we were taught as young girls. I don’t need rescuing or a sugar daddy. I’m not even looking for someone who checks off fictitious check boxes in my mind. I’m looking for someone with whom we have chemistry, respects me, has a great sense of adventure and is faithful. And, I know he’s out there, and I know I’ll meet him, when the time is right and the Universe has conspired to create such awesomeness.
Listen guys, I go out, I have fun. And, I’ve chosen intentionally not just to be with someone for the sake of being with someone … that’s easy and it’s not who I am, never has been and never will be. I’ve had 2 serious relationships in my life – one I married and the other I was engaged to. Some women look at me with a sense of pity, and I clap back (nicely) “hunney, I’m all good – I don’t feel sorry for me, nor should you. Now get on out there and worry about stuff like climate change, animal abuse or human trafficking”
I’m not here to preach that it’s so awesome and you should all ditch the BFs or GFs or both — and join me — when you choose to be or not to be in any relationship, choose POWERFULLY. I’d feel way worse having to sacrifice other things than the odd night without a kiss on the forehead or cuddle.
Did this resonate with you? Are you choosing powerfully? Could you be? What would that look like for you living in that possibility? What could you create?
I would love to hear and engage with you, please comment below.